So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
