I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize