so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
