you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
high people should be assigned attendants
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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