i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
