i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
