I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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