I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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