mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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