Your mouth is God's brothel.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
