so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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