We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
