so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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