I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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