Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You work out of a Hotel?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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