Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Randomize
