that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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