So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
