i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We have so much sex to catch up on
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
