My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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