she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
