never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
