okay pat passed out under dana's car
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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