Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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