Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
