Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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