i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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