that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
