Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
