i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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