what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
