I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
