i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
