Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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