Someone shit on the floor
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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