I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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