you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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