Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
