last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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