32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I met the friendliest cop last night
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize