1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
