How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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