Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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