A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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