I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
