You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
