I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize