ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Text me some of your sweat
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
