EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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