hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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