Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
