it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
