wrigley field is MILF paradise
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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