yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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