Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
