What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
