Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
