He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
