dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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