You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
