Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
