I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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