what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
