I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
