i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
