Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
