sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So much Jack, so little girl.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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