plz talk dirty to me
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
