I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
