Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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