hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
