i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
