that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
