found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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